Matthew's Random Thoughts

With great hesitancy I am allowing Matthew to post his unfiltered thoughts through his morning writings, please enjoy his wit and cynicism knowing how sweet his heart is:

Please don’t read this… Random self indulgent thoughts from Matthew
In an effort to promote honesty and transparency I’m endeavoring to write these random and mostly inconsequential thoughts largely unedited, uncensored and generally to gratify my own sense of humor and occasional desire for a soapbox to preach from. One of the consequences of this is that there is a chance that this will occasionally offend or ruffle feathers. To all family members, friends and most importantly potential future employers who are stalking me on the internet let me assure you that I mean no disrespect and am more than capable of being the picture of professional reservation, tact and maturity. The fact that I am indulging in this at all and joining my better half’s good natured and informative travelogue betrays my hypocrisy. I have often commented and complained at the silliness of haughty plebeians such as myself presuming that the larger population of cyberspace would care what they ate for dinner, what color their child’s poop is or which brand of fabric softener is superior.  And so at least until I get bored or distracted I will embrace this hypocrisy and join on some small level the hordes of lost cyber souls looking for validation in the comments and responses of you the cyber critics. This in fact was going to be my first random thought, “Am I betraying myself in joining a practice I have so vocally mocked; and in the end who really cares?” I decided that this was really more of an introduction and not really a proper random thought.  As you will see some of my random thoughts are questions. Please feel free to respond, argue, disagree, further question or completely ignore as you see fit. Whatever you do please say what you mean with no fear of ridicule or judgment. After all if we can’t be honest in a totally open blog on the internet where can we be? Let me finally preface this by acknowledging that I am by no means original, don’t mean to offend but probably will and will most likely not write more than 2 of these because I generally don’t stick with things for more than a couple of days. 

Random Thought #1: Why are South American babies so much more adorable than North American babies? Honestly every child under the age of 10 who I see seems to have been genetically engineered to produce spontaneous cries of “oh, he/she is so cute, where can I get one?” And as a proper middle class American citizen it seems only right that I should be able to purchase one of these unnaturally cute children and take him/her back to my own north American suburban utopia and dress them in Gap Kids because let’s be honest though they are really cute their clothes are a bit dated and their fashion sense leaves a bit to be desired.